Lesson I - Speaking With Respect
In God’s eyes Lesson One should really be about something else. But God has appointed local men, men that sense the beat of where we are to bring forth and customize His message to their generation. He called me for this task today.
I must start with something that can ‘patch the tube’ as soon as possible and stop the loss of air in marriages that are in trouble. Like a tire running flat we need some emergency help before we are stranded.
James says this about the weapon that we call our tongues:
“5 Even so the tongue is a little member, and it can boast of great things. See how much wood or how great a forest a tiny spark can set ablaze! 6 And the tongue is a fire. [The tongue is a] world of wickedness set among our members, contaminating and depraving the whole body and setting on fire the wheel of birth (the cycle of man’s nature), being itself ignited by hell (Gehenna).” James 3:5-7 (AMP)
So rule #1 for relationships, for marriage is watch the way we use our tongues. BE SLOW TO SPEAK.
Understand [this], my beloved brethren. Let every man be quick to hear [a ready listener], slow to speak, slow to take offense and to get angry. James 1:19 (AMP)
Rule #2. Is like it. SAY ONLY ENCOURAGING THINGS.:
29 Let no foul or polluting language, nor evil word nor unwholesome or worthless talk [ever] come out of your mouth, but only such [speech] as is good and beneficial to the spiritual progress of others, as is fitting to the need and the occasion, that it may be a blessing and give grace (God’s favor) to those who hear it. Ephesians 4:29 (AMP)
So notice this rule goes out not only for the one you are talking to, BUT for anyone that can hear it. This includes the kids. Be an example. Don’t be a hypocrite. The hypocrites are not liked by God, they go to hell. (Mt. 24:51)
Many will now ask, “Well how do I correct my spouse?” God has an answer to this. It is an obscure Scripture and is mentioned only a few times. Understand, the Bible was written in a time when men were men and this was the way they normally handled themselves:
15 If your brother wrongs you, go and show him his fault, between you and him privately. If he listens to you, you have won back your brother. Matthew 18:15 (AMP)
That’s right big mouth. Handle your questions in private. Handle it like questions, NOT an attack. Handle it as if you are equally sinful people, humbly seeking answers. This is God’s rule. It was the law that our land (USA) was built on and there are NO EXCEPTIONS from God, particularly for marriage.
I believe the Me Generation has the loosest mouths of any generation. I believe it builds and overflows into aggressive driving, slut talk, and things that should never be stated in public, particularly in front of children. If you will follow this one rule today, all your relationships will be better. In particular, Marriage. Sadly it is hard to find a body that will follow this rule. Sadly, I have even seen Pastors whose 'hobby horse' was to ignore this Christian Rule.
PS: There are some that may think this is written just for them. It is not. Many are having these problems. My prayer is that everyone gains from this. This is written for myself as well as anyone else, but no one specific. Yes, many have contributed to this learning, but no one specific. - Bob
